Before I start this long post, I should at least post a photo, right?

Right!

Love this little baby!

Time flies when you’re having fun

I can’t believe it’s already been a week since I had my new little guy. It seems like I was JUST heading into the hospital early in the morning for my induction, as nervous and scared as can be.

Then as if this past week didn’t seem fast enough, it wasn’t until I had William that I realised that this entire past year has flown by. The first time I saw Robert after having the new baby, I couldn’t believe how big he was. He was always the baby to us. I always looked at him more like a little baby than the one year old that he is. I don’t know if that’s because he isn’t walking yet (he’s just starting to) or because he won’t eat table food yet or what. But now I look at him and wonder where that time went. I can’t help but feel sad about how fast the last year passed and knowing how fast this coming year will go. In 12 short months, William is going to be where Robert is today and Robert where Andrew is. It’s crazy scary to watch them grow up that fast, not only because they’re growing up fast, but because I, too, am getting older fast. Individual days seem like eternities when you’re so busy taking care of little ones, but add those days up into weeks, months and years and they seem to pass by in the blink of an eye.

Mourning my pregnancy

I don’t know what it is about the end of this pregnancy, but I feel a sadness that it’s now gone. Not that I don’t want William here right now (because I do), but I’m really mourning the pregnancy with him. I feel like this at the end of every pregnancy and I always chalked it up to my body telling me that I just wasn’t done having kids. I often wondered when that feeling would no longer return after giving birth. But even after my third, it has again returned. And it’s pretty strong.

I never really knew how many kids I wanted and a third wasn’t even in the picture for us until Andrew and Robert were more independent (maybe 3 years down the road?). However, fate had other plans for us. It was a complete shock to me when I found out I got pregnant on the pill, and even then, I felt sad about it because I knew that that pregnancy could very well be my last. Because of that, I told myself I’d enjoy every moment of it. And I did until the end when I was faced with blood pressure problems and an impending induction. Things were moving so fast at that point that I really didn’t get a chance to slow down and savor every last moment, every last ache, pain, discomfort, fear, excitement and anticipation that comes along with being pregnant.

So now that those 9 months are gone, I can’t help but feel a little down about my reproductive future. If babies weren’t so hard, I’d have 10 more right now, but truth is, I was already stretched thin with two and I know three will be much more rough. So far it isn’t too bad even though William hasn’t yet completely gotten his days and nights in the right order, but I know for sure that four little ones would put me over the edge as long as I’m living so far away from my family. It makes me sad to think that William might have been my last. It makes me sad that I may never get a chance to try for a girl. Of course I could wait a few years, but I feel like I’ll be so old by then and I really have no idea if my husband would even be on the same page with me.

Sigh.

How I’ve been

Aside from being a little sad that my pregnancy has come to an end, I actually feel great. I always feel ready to get up and run a marathon after giving birth and this time was no exception. If anything, I don’t even feel any different. Aside from one stitch that causes a little discomfort from time to time, I really don’t feel like I gave birth just a week ago. I was up cleaning the apartment the day I came home and now that my husband has been back to work since yesterday, my life after baby is really no different than life before baby, aside from now having a third little mouth to feed.

It’s also nice to know that I’ll get my body back for awhile. I really need to work on losing weight again and my husband is on board with me this time around which should make things much easier for me. We’re looking into joining Weight Watchers and hoping to find success with that. Right now I’m just trying to keep my appetite in check. It’s hard going from eating whenever you want during pregnancy to trying to be more disciplined afterward. I gained about 25-30 pounds with this pregnancy, which is more than I usually gain, and only lost 10 after giving birth. I don’t know how that happened since he alone was nearly 8 pounds and I also lost some water weight, but oh well. More incentive to ditch the rest of the fat I suppose.

The sleeping situation still sucks, but that’s to be expected and it really hasn’t been that hard on me since I wasn’t sleeping much at the end of my pregnancy anyway. The carpel tunnel in my hands, especially my right hand, made it very hard to sleep for more than an hour without having to get up and shake out the pain and tingling in my hands. Now that the carpel tunnel is going away, the few hours of sleep that I do get at night are much more satisfying. I haven’t slept so hard in a long time.

The bleeding hasn’t been too bad this time around either. At just a few days postpartum, I was having stretches of a few hours where I wouldn’t bleed at all and I really haven’t bled at all today. I know it’s still going to come and go for the next few weeks, but with Robert I felt like I bled so much for so long and it seemed to take forever to let up. So this makes me feel good!

How baby’s been

William hasn’t been too hard to take care of. I’m not trying to breastfeed this time around so it’s such a relief knowing that ALL feedings, day and night, are not my responsibility. With two other kids and a husband who works a ton, I need all the help I can get in the evenings and during the night. I feel so much more relaxed as a mother knowing that I don’t have to worry about everything that goes along with breastfeeding. The only downside is that I’ve been VERY uncomfortable since my milk came in a few days ago. It’s slowly getting better, but the sore, massive boobs make it impossible for me to pick up Andrew and Robert. I can’t wait to have normal boobs again.

Nights were hell at first, but I think he’s finally learning that daytime is for being awake and nighttime is for sleeping. The first night we were home, he was up every hour to eat. I was completely shocked by this because I expected bottle-fed babies to sleep about 3 hours between feedings. I was soooo looking forward to that after having breastfed Andrew and Robert for the first few months. Being up every hour or two with them was hell so I was really looking forward to the 3-4 hour stretches that we could expect from William. Wrong. The first few nights were awful, but I am happy to say that the past few nights weren’t THAT bad. Sometimes he’ll refuse to go back to sleep for a few hours after a feeding, but I’ll definitely take that over being up Every. Single. Hour. And last night, he got up at 10pm to eat just before we went to bed, then not again until 2am and lastly at 6am. It worked out well because I got him taken care of at 6, had him down for a nap by 7 and the other two monsters were up at 7:30. If every night could be like that, I’d be happy.

Oh, and POOP! This baby poops more than any other baby of mine. I don’t know anyone who can poop 4 times in 10 minutes, but he does it every day. And does it stink! I never did formula so early on so I never had to experience these raunchy poops, but holy rotten eggs, Batman!

Even with all the poop, might I mention that he’s still TOO CUTE? I still can’t get over how much he looks like Andrew did when he was born. They’re like twins separated by 28 months.

How the other boys are doing

Andrew is very interested in his new little brother. It took him awhile to understand that “baby” was no longer Robert. Every time we’d say “baby”, he’d say “Bopple” (how he says Robert), but he’s now starting to understand that William is now the baby. He knows he sleeps/naps in our room so every time he gets up in the morning, he goes over to our bedroom door and says “Baby?”. It’s so funny. For some reason, he also likes to sniff William’s head. I also taught him to “kiss the baby”, which is too cute and shown in the photo below.

Robert, on the other hand, doesn’t show much interest. Robert is a tank and he travels at a million miles a minute, plowing through everything in his path. So we have to be careful with him around his new little brother. He’ll come over to him and slap him on the head before you realise he did it. He also gets jealous when William cries and will also cry for attention. Andrew never really did this with Robert when he was that small, but Andrew was also a few months older. A few months make all the difference with boys of that age.

Overall, taking care of these three guys is a lot of work, but I really am so glad to have them in my life. I just wish they didn’t have to grow up so fast.